Tales From the Pharmacy, Part 5

I thought it would take longer than this to gather new material, but nooooo.

I know, I know… I just published Tales 4. No way can that much crazy stuff happen so fast, you are thinking, she must be making it up.

I’m here to tell you I’m not making anything up. Why would I when there is so much real insanity happening? And, there really has been a lot of insanity in a short amount of time. Maybe it’s the chemtrails or the coming eclipse. I don’t know, but people are being nuts.

I hope you find this as entertaining as I did!

“That Ain’t Gonna Fit”

As I’ve mentioned in earlier Tales, our pharmacy fills prescriptions for nebulizers. We only sell them as a complete kit, which comes in a nice box with all the accessories a person needs. The box isn’t big but it sure isn’t small.

The problem is when someone comes through the drive through and wants their nebulizer. The drive through has one of those security slide-out doors you might see at banks or gas stations. Prescriptions and money get passed back and forth in this manner.

Well, the nebulizer isn’t going to fit in that drawer. Not even close.

So a customer shows up in the drive through and wants his nebulizer. I showed him the box and said “You have to come in, this isn’t going to fit.” He looked at me, then the box for about 20 seconds (which I turned a few times to show him it wasn’t smaller on one side), then back at me and says “You could try it.”

Yeah, sure I can. If I break the door, the drive through is going to be closed for a long time and the staff will be happy, but I may be unemployed.

I said “No, it won’t fit. I’ll break the door or the nebulizer trying.” I turned the box again. I said, “The door is only this high” making an honest attempt with my hands to indicate the height of the door, which is smaller than the box.

I’m guessing he had a brain and I’m also guessing my face must have had that look on it because he says, “Nope, that ain’t gonna fit.”

Really? You don’t say.

The guy came in to get the nebulizer and was grumpy the whole time.

Now, notice he didn’t say he couldn’t come in because he could not breathe well enough to walk. If we have someone who absolutely can’t come in because of a physical disability, I will walk things out to them if at all possible. I like to go out. It gets me out of the cage (pharmacy) and I get some fresh air and maybe even some sun. Plus, I can snap a few photos of the sky while I’m out there.

But a disability was not the case with this guy. He was just lazy.

Other Drive Though Idiocy

Speaking of dumb, we have plenty of it. The above story is not my best drive through story, but it does rank in the top 5. Here are some other good ones. Keep in mind our store sells a lot of stuff, including OTC medicine, hygiene products and food. Also be aware that we have an online ordering system (for everything but prescriptions), so people can place orders and a stock employee will pick them and bring them out. We even accept cash for online orders.

Number one on my “most stupid” list was once someone came to pick up a quad cane. That’s a walking cane with a 4 prong tip. This particular cane did not fold. That moron thought THAT could be picked up through the drive through. And it wasn’t even for him, it was for his mom, so he absolutely could have walked his butt into the store. Lazy!!!

We had a customer come through asking if we sold eggs. We do. He wanted us to pick up eggs for him and pass them through the drive through window. Although they might fit, no. Have you ever had to clean up broken eggs? I have and I won’t. Can you just picture this… eggs coming out of something like a bank window and falling and breaking on a car door? These people are not thinking. Of all the retarded things to ask for, that’s the dumbest non-medical request.

We also have requests from people who are simply too lazy to come in. Other than eggs, I’ve had them ask for:

• Scotch tape

• Advil

• Cough drops and cough syrup

• “Salty crackers”… you mean saltines, I think

• Tampons

• Vitamins (that’s a common request)

Now, we at “Acme” like helping people, but everything on that list, with the exception of the last one, is elsewhere in the store and it takes time to get it. If there are people behind the car waiting, no way am I holding up the line because someone is lazy. I can grab vitamins in under 30 seconds, but if we are short staffed, the lines are long and the phone is ringing, I can’t even do that.

Now, I have to say some of these people requesting this are old and likely can’t figure out our online ordering system, even though it is easy. OK, my dad has issues so I understand that. But some aren’t old. They look younger than me. Many are fat. I’m fat, so I’m not criticizing, but maybe some exercise by walking into the store would help. Still others seem not to be fat, old or admit to a disability… they are just lazy as hell. Entitled and lazy.

One lady came through wanting formula. She had no prescriptions, so she was just using the pharmacy drive through in an effort to shop. I said she needed to come in for that as formula was a good 4 minute roundtrip walk for me. She said she could not because her sleeping kid was in the car. I told her about the online ordering system, which meant a store employee (not one in the pharmacy) could collect and bring out any order she made. She said “Yes, but it would be quicker if I could do pick it up here.” Yes, I’m sure it would be, but I have a line of people and at least one call on hold. I told her she could use her smartphone, which was in her hand, to order. I think she ultimately ordered online. Sigh.

In hindsight, I should have told her to call the store and if an employee was available, they’d actually go to her car, get money, pick up the formula, ring it out and deliver change and her formula back to her. But of course, which young person uses cash?

Another customer came through and wanted things like cough drops. She did not want to come in because she has she had “covid.” While we most certainly appreciate a sick person not wanting to come in the store, I have a few questions:

1. When did the PCR test magically become accurate to be sure that is what you have?

2. What about the mask around your chin? I thought those “worked”.

3. Doesn’t your “vaccine” protect you and everyone else? Hello?

I again suggested the online ordering system, which she used. Really, we like helping people, but the pharmacy is too busy for techs to go shopping.

Not everything is bad. One of my customers had invited me to a cookout for her church. I said I could not go because I had to work, which was too bad because hot dogs sounded good. Don’t you know she delivered 2 hotdogs in a bag through the drive through window? (These aren’t eggs so they are ok.) Awwwww! 🥰 I was very happy.

Finally, we had a really sick woman come through. We could tell. She looked horrible and like she had no business driving let alone being out of bed. She wanted orange juice. No way is that going out the drive through door and would rank up there with eggs in terms of a mess. She looked so god-awful and there was no one behind her, plus we had staff, we grabbed one, rang it out and brought it to her out front.

Some of us really like going outside and getting away from those darn phones.

Window Shade

OK, I’m still on about the drive through, sorry. It’s a hot topic. Worse, I call it the “drive in” at work, which tells you where I would much rather be.

We used to indicate the drive though was closed by putting up this big, ugly cardboard sign with bad handwriting on it. Well, they installed a shade. You know, the kind you pull down and then have to pull it down again to get it up? Like this:

Yeah, one of those infernal things. The ones that break easily. My aunt (the one who just passed away) had them all over her house and I used to accidentally break them. As I grew up, I got smart enough not to touch them. If you are young, you likely never were around them and you should consider thanking God for that. They are horrible.

It’s been up a week as of 4/4/24. I am taking bets on how long it will take before it gets broken. I give it 2 more weeks max, but that’s only if I don’t touch it.

Now in the front window that faces the sales floor, there is a metal shade that gets rolled down. Sometimes it gets rolled up into the holder up top and gets stuck. We can’t get the damn thing down unless someone gets a ladder and starts screwing around with it until they can grab it. This is inconvenient and highly annoying when it’s time to go home. Further, I don’t like ladders. And I really want to go home. We can’t leave until it is down. Worse, some customers inevitably come when we were supposed to close 10 minutes ago, all wanting multiple prescriptions re-rung through GoodRX.

No.

I went to CVS and they had a rolling curtain that went side to side. I’m jealous. We at "Acme” have crap that is from the 80s, like stupid shades and a computer in the customer center that still only has 8 colors. I swear it runs on DOS. We need an upgrade.

Easter Madness

I volunteered to work Easter because I understand other people celebrate it and it’s a big deal for most families. My coworker that I covered for was so happy she had the day off. She was shopping all over the store for a pan for a ham, pineapple, salad, etc. the night before. I’m glad she was happy - that made me happy.

Well, Easter was chaos. The store itself was semi-busy, but we were slammed. I had about 10 customers tell me “You’re the only pharmacy open in town!”

Yep. We know that, and apparently the urgent care down the street knows it, too.

Phone started ringing the minute we opened and never quit. Customers were waiting for the window to open. We had a lot of folks from out of state dropping off prescriptions, almost all for antibiotics. Some said they forgot their medications at home, so they had emergency fills. Thank God no one wanted a nebulizer.

One of our pharmacists does not like to rush anything, the other is ok with it. Today we had the one who was ok with rushes. That’s good because that’s about all we had.

At 10:15 a.m., store manager tells me they are cooking brats and hotdogs. OK!!! I’m hungry. I’m out of bed too early. Let’s eat! He says around noon. OK, I will wait.

12 noon. Chaos continues. I swear I must have lost weight running. I’m hungry. No food yet. Phone is ringing. Drive through is slammed. It’s just the pharmacist and I. It’s nice out. I can see the sun through the drive through window and no chemtrails in the sky. Why am I inside?

12:30. More rush prescriptions for antibiotics. No food yet. We have a hard time getting things like Weygovy, but thank God we’re stocked on antibiotics.

1:00. Still no food. My coffee is gone and I need a nap. A coworker tells me the flames are “this high” on the grill, and makes a level with his hand that indicates about a foot and a half. I can smell lighter fluid inside because our air intake system is awful and the fumes are that bad. What did they do, use the whole bottle?

1:30, no food. Yes, I brought something but we were so busy I could not take time to nuke it. Besides, grilled brats sound better. No one has called the fire department on us…. yet.

At 1:45, about 15 minutes before we close, food is finally ready. Great! Now if I could just get away and get some.

We were busy up until closing at 2. About 2:05, the drive through bell rings. That stupid shade is down. The pharmacist goes to tell them they we are closed, but can’t get the shade up. Turns out the guy needs a heart medicine RX, which we had ready, so we helped him. All the time the pharmacist had to duck under the shade because it would not go up. I’m telling you, that thing is GOING to break. Soon.

So we’re busy for the next 30+ minutes trying to clean up the mess we made that we didn’t have time to clean up as we went along. I am HUNGRY. Store manager came back at some point to remind us food was ready. I know, man. I’m trying to get done so I can get out of here and get some.

I bet you think this story will end without me getting any food, but thankfully it does not. I finally got to eat around 2:45… brat, hot dog, and chips. My store coworker, who was manning the grill, managed not to char things too badly nor set the building on fire. God bless our store manager and my coworker! Best Easter dinner ever… no sarcasm!

“This is not a Joke!”

A customer calls the night of April 2 to see if her stuff was ready. She says to be careful, there is terrible, awful, highly dangerous weather coming! There’s a tornado WATCH, so be careful!!

Sigh.

OK, I take tornadoes seriously. Any non-brain-dead person would. But a watch is really different than a warning. No warnings were on for our area. Not one. I’m not even sure there were any active tornado warnings anywhere in Ohio, but I could be wrong.

So I make some joke… something about spring in Ohio, I think, or maybe it was if you don’t like the weather, wait 5 minutes. I can’t remember what I said, but I do know she didn’t get the humor. She says “This is no joke! This is a very dangerous situation!”

Blah. Blah blah. Whatever. I looked online and windy.com does not see it that way. Yeah, it was messy, but I saw much worse on the radar and satellite a few weeks back when we had an actual tornado. For those that don’t know, I’m doing a project on chemtrails/contrails so I’m looking at radars and satellite images a lot and am getting good at seeing storms on both.

Our news is awful for over hyping weather, but this was next level. I later heard even the Ohio governor was going on about the weather. Really? Chill out, people!

As a side, central Ohioans are obsessed with bad weather, or what they think is bad weather, and that has everything to do with the stupid news. Well, almost everything: people here can’t drive when it rains. They just can’t. When it snows, God help us all, because there are either idiots trying to do 80 mph on I-270 or people who won’t go faster than 15 on any road, including the freeway. If any kind of storm is predicted, the weathermen get all frenzied, sometimes interrupt whatever is on TV, and start spewing fear while looking very excited at the same time. If they predict a storm - any storm - you’d think the apocalypse had been announced and the stores get raided. It’s crazy. There is something wrong with people here.

I hate the news. I just know they are behind the unneeded panic this evening because even though I won’t watch them (unless there really is a tornado warning), this is the way people get when the news starts spewing fear. Let’s see, when else did the media last over hype something? Hmmmmmm.

Anyhow, I thanked this woman for warning me and told her that I would be careful. OK, whatever. I’m not in a mood to panic over nothing. Besides, what the hell am I supposed to do? If a storm is coming to our store, it is coming. If the power goes off, I get paid while it’s off and can’t work. I don’t see a problem here.

Anyhow, the power didn’t go off and we were very busy. Everyone wanted to get their stuff before the “terrible weather” came in. As I mentioned above, it’s a central Ohio thing.

Now, it’s true bad weather was predicted, but not that bad. All day (and even on April 1) I heard things as such:

• “My boyfriend went through golf ball size hail at the Indiana/Ohio border and now his windshield is chipped.” If that’s true, that’s bad.

• “There are tornadoes on the ground in Lancaster!” There weren’t any tornados, much less any on the ground, and Lancaster is south east of us and storms travel in from the west, not from the south east. Even if there were tornadoes there, this does not affect us.

• “Everything is flooded.” Yes, there was high water in places, like the 270/23 interchange in south Columbus. That’s not “everything”.

• “This is going to be the worst storm ever!!” No, I’d say the EF5 tornado that took out half of Xenia in1974 beats this hands down.

• “We’re going to see the worst weather in decades!” No, see above. Also, I’d say the actual tornadoes that killed people in Ohio a couple weeks back were much worse.

• “I’d better get some supplies!” For a rain storm. Ooooooh Kay. Yes, being prepared is good. Freaking out is not.

• “It’s so scary!! You all stay safe!” Nice sentiment, we appreciate it, but I am not afraid.

CBS had doom and gloom. Tornado watches everywhere!! By the looks of that article, you’d think the apocalypse was in progress. Good, that can come any time and take out Washington D.C., minus harming innocent people, of course.

By the way, the store has had problems with rain. It almost always leaks inside when it rains heavily. Once a huge section of ceiling tiles fell into the beer section. I also heard that years ago rain got into the pharmacy and fried a computer. I believe these stories. The landlord is terrible. It was pouring on April 2, but it’s poured before and we were fine, other than roof leaks. No leaks in the pharmacy this time.

I went outside to see if the cars had floated off in the lot. I have seen rain bad enough out there to come halfway up tires. As I was walking, I saw greenish skies through the windows, which are tinted, so the color is not accurate. Nevertheless, green skies can indicate tornadoes, so naturally I got wound up, grabbed my cell-camera and went outside.

The cars were fine - there was very minimal flooding at one end of the lot - but oh my gosh, it’s just sooooooooo horrible out here:

Yep, sure looks like the world just ended.

So after convincing the cashiers up front to go out and see this incredible show, I show the photo of the rainbow to the pharmacist. He says “That looks ominous”.

What? No, it’s a rainbow. Hello? Hello?!! Why is everything such doom and gloom? It’s a rainbow. RAIN. BOW. Hello! Rainbows are good! Double rainbow are better! Stop watching the damn news already! SIGH!!!

I actually saw a complete double rainbow but could not get it all in one picture. I swear the Creator must be an artist.

C. diff - Don’t Get It Unless You’re Rich

Ok, there are medications that cost a lot and then there are medications that could put a person into serious debt. A medication, Dificid, is used to treat a sometimes very serious intestinal bacteria called C. diff. According to the Mayo Clinic, “Clostridioides difficile (klos-TRID-e-oi-deez dif-uh-SEEL) is a bacterium that causes an infection of the colon, the longest part of the large intestine. Symptoms can range from diarrhea to life-threatening damage to the colon. The bacterium is often called C. difficile or C. diff.”

Sounds bad. I don’t want it.

Well, one of our customers has it. They told us another pharmacy wanted - are you ready for this - $17,000 for a prescription for Dificid. I’ve looked up the cost and am not sure that’s accurate, but we tried to run the RX and it came up to over $5,300 for a 10 day treatment. That was WITH insurance taking down the cost. Even GoodRX wanted more than that. My guess is the person had a much higher quantity than a ten day supply and that’s why it was so expensive at the other pharmacy. No way would they price gouge like that.

I don’t bring home $5,300 a month. I might bring that home in about 4 1/2 - 5 months. So if I got this crap, I would spend over one third of my annual take home pay for a drug that may not even work.

Look, this is not medical advice at all, but at that price tag, I’d be trying colloidal silver, a ton of garlic, oregano oil and then charcoal, bentonite and hell of a lot of probiotics. At least with those I won’t lose my house. I obviously did not say any of that to the customer.

I think the customer decided to call the doctor to try something different. Yeah… good choice there.

“I Need 8 Viagra”

A man called asking if his scripts were ready. I said no, we are short staffed. I asked him to please wait for a text. He says, “Will they be ready tonight?”

OK, I’m not in the mood to get my butt chewed. The pharmacy manager has made it overly clear that we are NEVER EVER permitted to promise anyone when their scripts will be ready. We can’t do this for any reason or we might get written up. I do not appreciate this policy nor the threat and honestly, I’m starting to dread going in to work. But ok, I won’t make promises.

I said (truthfully) that I did not know. I also said “I can’t promise that. We’ll do our best. ”

So what does this guy do? He shows up roughly an hour to an hour and a half later, of course. Listening ears, people! RXs are not ready, of course.

I tell him they are not ready. The pharmacist (not me!) tells him we need a half hour. He then says “I need 8 Viagra tonight, too.” He sounded…. desperate.

I am thinking: wait, what? You mean you need all eight… tonight… do you take more than one a night? Maybe I don’t want to know. And why didn’t you tell me that when you called?

Look, I’m not a guy so I don’t know how that stuff works. I know what it does, but don’t know when or how much you take. That’s the pharmacist’s place to say. Talk to me about menopause and I can relate, but not erectile dysfunction.

The pharmacist re-iterated the 30 minute time window so he drove off. I left for the evening before he came back. I’m guessing he got his eight Viagra and hopefully took them correctly.

Even Lower Staff

We’re in big trouble. We just lost another tech to no call, no show. She was never engaged to begin with but she did answer the drive in and the window. Plus she could get the damn blind up. Now she’s gone, too. This leaves 1 full time tech, a new hire, me, and a part time person. However, the part time person is out with a genuine, serious family emergency.

So that leaves 3 of us this week. Except…

The new hire is unhappy and is completely stressed out. She called off already and it’s only been a week and a half. This is not a good sign. I think we’re about ready to be down to one tech and me. That is NOT GOOD. I am not happy. I am not a pill filler by nature. I have my own job in that store and now I can’t do it.

So on April 4, the new hire is there, I’m there, and one pharmacist. That’s it. The world is apparently ending - I must have missed that memo - because everyone in the greater Columbus area is at the store and the pharmacy. What, eclipse preparations? I have no idea.

Someone comes to the drive through (here we go with the drive through again) and rings the bell. I am on the phone. The pharmacist is with the new hire and is explaining things. In other words, we can’t come over there at this exact moment.

Roughly a minute later, customer rings bell three times, the last time laying on the bell. I am still on the phone but am getting annoyed. Pharmacist is still with the new hire, then goes to take care of that person. The pharmacist is more patient than I am… a lot more patient. I was on the verge of profanity. Sometimes we just can’t come over immediately and it is highly annoying when people don’t quite get that.

So if you visit a pharmacy and people look ticked off, tired, stressed, ready to vomit or can’t get to the drive through quickly, it might be because they are overworked and short staffed.

On the bright side, if I spend more time in there, it means I will likely gather more stories. :) That’s a win for you, I think.

Oh, and one more drive through note. That door is dangerous. When I first started there, my finger got closed in it because I am an idiot. I was in some serious pain. My fingernail turned black a few days later, but have you heard of Arnica Montana? Traditional use for bruises, swelling and trauma. It worked wonders, not that I’m giving advice, of course. I’m still scared of that damn door. Add in the stupid blind and I hate the whole drive through arrangement.

And finally, our company is taking what they call “eclipse preparations”. They have canceled all truck deliveries for Monday because of the very real potential of serious traffic tie ups. They are closing the pharmacy during the height of the eclipse (as opposed to our normal lunch time) because many of our stores are in the path of totality and this will allow the employees to see the total eclipse. A customer thought that was pure insanity. I personally am glad the company is trying so hard to give its employees the chance to see this. None of us will be alive for the next one in 2099.

I am not working that day, thank God. I’m eclipse chasing. Wish me luck. I’m going to need it with as unpredictable as Ohio weather is in the spring.

See you soon, I’m sure.